Nikki Dykes

My name is Nikki and I graduated from CMBTC in October of ’23.  When I came to the Mission, I was struggling with an addiction to alcohol which was masking many deeper and more complex issues within me.  

I was very blessed to grow up with parents who not only took me to church, but also lived out their faith no matter the situation.  I received salvation at a young age but never developed an intimate relationship with the Lord.   I had the knowledge, I knew what a Christians life should look like, but none of that could fill the void inside me.  I would spend many years after that desperately trying to find a way to feel complete.  

For most of my adult life I served in various ministries within the church.  I was also a single mom to the most precious little boy.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was constantly pouring from an empty cup.  I was serving others and serving the Lord in an attempt to gain my worth and shape my identity.  Over and over, I was left empty and drowning in a mixture of pride and shame.  In the end I would always use substances to numb that pain. Although I was living in silent chaos, confusion and destruction, the Lord was there every moment patiently waiting for me to allow Him to provide my rescue. 

He chose to stage that rescue on a hill in Crossville and I’m so grateful for every moment of my time there.  He began a process of breaking down walls of religious beliefs and opening my eyes to His Truths.  This process took time, some days were very difficult, and I missed my son more than I can describe but I knew this is where I was supposed to be, and I knew healing was taking place in my life.  Over time I started experiencing a relationship with the Father that I had never known was possible and for the first time my cup was truly being filled.  I also found a community of people who I grew to love and respect with all my heart.  

Since leaving the mission the Lord has only continued to work in and through my life.  I can simply be and serve others for His purposes.   I no longer live trying to fill the emptiness or combat the shame.  I can be the mom my son deserves, and I was able to open my heart to the man the Lord chose for me.  The ending of my chapter at CMBTC allowed for the beginning of the next and I want to leave every detail up to the Author of Life.   After all, this is His story.